Can we say burnt out?

Has it seriously been since April I've posted?

Well I guess that makes sense, since I am now on leave from work, without an idea of when I am going back. It's just gotten so out of control, I can't keep myself in control. Time off was so needed.

It took a lot to get me to make the decision to go. The guilt of leaving my patients, their families, my fellow social workers, and the unit staff in the lurch still weighs on me. I did the most packaging up I could do before taking time, but when you are working a unit where most patients have been there for on average over 100 days, I actually miss seeing their faces and chatting with them. I worry they won't get the same attention I had given them, I know they won't with a lack of staffing. I hope this has been worked out while I've been gone, but that initial worry of letting them and the hospital down was killing me. But continuing on with all that was going on was just not an option anymore.

I love, love, love my job. It's all the other unnecessary, seemingly petty, people dynamics that ruined it for me. I need to get my strength back up to deal with sadly what I fear will have not changed when I get back. Maybe I will have changed enough to deal with it better. It's all I can hope for.

Is it crazy that I miss work? I just wish that I can get back and be able to do my work, just my work. Then things will be okay. For the most part. At least better. I hope.