Has it seriously been since April I've posted?
Well I guess that makes sense, since I am now on leave from work, without an idea of when I am going back. It's just gotten so out of control, I can't keep myself in control. Time off was so needed.
It took a lot to get me to make the decision to go. The guilt of leaving my patients, their families, my fellow social workers, and the unit staff in the lurch still weighs on me. I did the most packaging up I could do before taking time, but when you are working a unit where most patients have been there for on average over 100 days, I actually miss seeing their faces and chatting with them. I worry they won't get the same attention I had given them, I know they won't with a lack of staffing. I hope this has been worked out while I've been gone, but that initial worry of letting them and the hospital down was killing me. But continuing on with all that was going on was just not an option anymore.
I love, love, love my job. It's all the other unnecessary, seemingly petty, people dynamics that ruined it for me. I need to get my strength back up to deal with sadly what I fear will have not changed when I get back. Maybe I will have changed enough to deal with it better. It's all I can hope for.
Is it crazy that I miss work? I just wish that I can get back and be able to do my work, just my work. Then things will be okay. For the most part. At least better. I hope.
Friday, 3 August 2012
Friday, 13 April 2012
"Upcoming Election"
Progressive (definition): One who believes government should be a promoter of social justice and the public good, and protector of the environment, rather than leaving the marketplace to determine the distribution of wealth, services, and clean air. In Alberta, this means placing health, education, social services, and environmental regulation above big business profits and after-tax incomes of high earners. From the Klein years onwards, the "progressive" wing of the Progressive Conservative Party has shrunk to virtually nothing. The PR spin changes but the basic values of the PCs have remained consistent: profiteers and polluters have more rights than ordinary citizens. -- http://changealberta.wordpress.com/
I just went on a facebook rant on my friend's page. And I figured I would turn that into a post on my blog.
There is a major fear within me that people will vote Wildrose because it is the most prominently advertised party opposing the PC's, and the promises they are making via their TV ads, etc that don't tell the whole story, and the voters lack of doing research on their own to truly educate themselves on who and what they are voting for. Will a vote you make for a particular party really get you what you want, what you believe in, get you what you thought they were promising?
For those who don't vote, I've been there, I understand, but with the real threat of Wildrose making a dent due to others voting, this should be enough to scare you into voting this election.
I want someone, a party, that represents the larger population, not the few that end up voting, and usually voting conservative, and not the sheltered, overly judgemental, non-inclusive, greedy, overly wealthy making rules for our province that suite them, over us, the true majority.
Facebook rant here:
I just went on a facebook rant on my friend's page. And I figured I would turn that into a post on my blog.
There is a major fear within me that people will vote Wildrose because it is the most prominently advertised party opposing the PC's, and the promises they are making via their TV ads, etc that don't tell the whole story, and the voters lack of doing research on their own to truly educate themselves on who and what they are voting for. Will a vote you make for a particular party really get you what you want, what you believe in, get you what you thought they were promising?
For those who don't vote, I've been there, I understand, but with the real threat of Wildrose making a dent due to others voting, this should be enough to scare you into voting this election.
I want someone, a party, that represents the larger population, not the few that end up voting, and usually voting conservative, and not the sheltered, overly judgemental, non-inclusive, greedy, overly wealthy making rules for our province that suite them, over us, the true majority.
Facebook rant here:
Jessica Foulston I have no problem disclosing who I am voting for. And I have no problem telling the people are going to vote, you need to educate yourself. Don't be swayed by promises, when $300 for each person won't even make a dent in any thing for them, I found it condescending that Wildrose thinks $300 will mean so much to low income families, when at the same time their values and positions blame those individuals for their stations in life when it is Wildrose's proposed government that will keep these people there, and bring all of us closer and closer to that station.51 minutes ago ·
Jessica Foulston I found it dumbfounding that the PC's will not even think of charging royalties for our oil they are freely giving away, and losing out on billions of dollars of revenue from these foreign companies whose tax breaks, and funds made, will NOT be reinvested in our economy. These companies have no where else to go. Every other country that has oil has passed laws that that oil is that country's own, that revenue is their own, no other country can come in and take it. And we are just giving it away without taking advantage of these companies who can afford and will have no problem paying royalties to us. Revenue that can be reinvested into our social system, into our healthcare, into our creating long term care facilities, into our education, into our future. Planning for the future was their slogan last night. Planning for the future my ass!
Jessica Foulston Liberals for me were definitely better than the conservative and EXTREME conservative parties. But again too in the middle for me. Too blaming for me. No real tangible plans presented to me that I could grab onto and say yes, this will make a difference.
Jessica Foulston So guess who I am voting for? I'm voting for the values that match my own. Its is about the collective, not just the 'I'. All of us 'I''s make up the collective. Each of us effect each other. Each of us are entitled to what Canada is known for. Why are we not standing up for Canada as we have known it, for a Canada that is welcoming, inclusive, "The best country to live in". Low income, working class, middle class, upper middle class, upper class are all evening out into one big low income class while the richest of the rich take the wealth, and fight for keeping that wealth with them, and fight for getting private services that eventually only they will be able to afford. If you want to get to a day where staying in hospital costs you $3000/day, then you know who to vote for. If you want our province to remain wealthy over all, let's charge royalties. Then you know who to vote for. If you want to remain in the status quo, a status quo that is flip flopping and steadily going down hill, then you know who to vote for. I just beg you not to be naive, and fall for the cute charismatic guy with the flashy white smile, that turns out to be Ted Bundy. Educate yourself. AND DEAR LORD VOTE!
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
Personal Style, Youth, and Small Packaging, a Stigma?
Bruce Link and Jo Phelan propose that STIGMA exists when four specific components converge:In this model stigmatization is also contingent on "access to social, economic, and political power that allows the identification of differences, construction of stereotypes, the separation of labeled persons into distinct groups, and the full execution of disapproval, rejection, exclusion, and discrimination." Subsequently, in this model the term stigma is applied when labeling, stereotyping, disconnection, status loss, and discrimination all exist within a power situation that facilitates stigma to occur.
- Individuals differentiate and label human variations -- Identifying which human differences are salient, and therefore worthy of labeling, is a social process. There are two primary factors to examine when considering the extent to which this process is a social one. The first issue is the fact that significant oversimplification is needed to create groups. The broad groups of black and white, homosexual and heterosexual, the sane and the mentally ill; and young and old are all examples of this. Secondly, the differences that are socially judged to be relevant differ vastly according to time and place.
- Prevailing cultural beliefs tie those labeled to adverse attributes. i.e. stereotypes
- Labeled individuals are placed in distinguished groups that serve to establish a sense of disconnection between "us" and "them".
- Labeled individuals experience "status loss and discrimination" that leads to unequal circumstances.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_stigma
Once again my choice of clothing has sparked a discussion, specifically with my choice of tights.
Friday's offending hosiery:
The outfit as a whole:
For anyone who knows me, you know I have a flair for the odd, the different, the out of the box, the unique. For those who really know me, you know how insecure I have felt all my life about my small size, how I've been picked on, and how I have tried to hide my limbs behind long sleeves and pants. I can honestly say this year, is the first year I have felt fully comfortable in my body and the first year I wore shorts, skirts, leggings, and dresses regularly in public, embracing my East Indian small bone structure and chicken legs. The first time I've truly felt free.
Who knew my newly found freedom and flair for expressing who I am through what I wear would be so controversial.
I was told that my patterned tights may lead to people judging me to be a 'party girl', 'not to be taken seriously', and 'not respected'. To which I replied, people are going to judge me no matter what, because they clearly have and will, given my youthful appearance. Let people think what they want, if I am actually working for them and with them, they'll know right away that I am great at my job, that I am very professional, that I encourage equality over hierarchy, that my rapport and respect is for all I interact with and not saved for a 'deserving' few, that I get the job done with compassion, and with the strength to advocate against the discharge happy, non-psychosocial focused medical environment of an acute care hospital. I am capable. Let them judge and be proven wrong. I do want to differentiate myself, and for what I see as an important reason.
"The differentiating strategy involves not only revealing one's...stigma, but also emphasizing it and how it differentiates one from others. People who use this strategy try to eliminate unfair judgment by presenting their identity as equally acceptable when compared with others (Clair, et al., 2005). Some researchers (Creed & Scully, 2000; Taylor & Raeburn, 1995) have referred to this strategy as deploying one's identity, citing individuals who reveal their stigmas in order to test the perceptions of dominant organizational groups in an effort to inspire organizational change."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stigma_management
A major issue is the generation gap between the overall cohort of person's I interact with at work. Oddly, it's the 50 years olds (not all of them) that I've been getting the most grief from. The 70, 80, and 90 year olds, that you would think would be so stuck in their ways and beliefs of this 'young generation', actually find me whimsical, fun, and remember me as a positive experience, even if they can't remember my name.
I take pride in not being and not looking like just another Social Worker, that many patients have experienced in their past as uncaring, too serious, unwilling to listen, and as a threat. They know it from the minute they see me, that I am different. I am not what they're used to, and that's a good thing. My personal style is an expression of who I am and serves a purpose, a very important purpose. I am approachable, I am memorable, and I don't take myself too seriously. Trust is built, and yes I feel my personal style has a role in my success with my professional work.
My dress has made me a target by those that are more conservative and have personal opinions of what patterned tights represent.
Then: "What you would were to a club", ie. sexual connotations, and what current comments have eluded to. Again see outfit above! Really!?
Now: Fun, funky way to update your wardrobe that is following a recent fashion trend.
Oddly, if my tights today were plain shear, and no print on them, they would be fine. I said I would feel more exposed without the pattern. Plus, what I am wearing them with is clearly not a going out, getting sloshed, and being a bar star outfit. Interesting that all it took was flowers on my tights, with the outfit as a whole not seen as what it should and what I believe it represented. Ironically, Friday I got many compliments on my tights by various unit managers, as I always have. My quirky style a conversation starter with nurses on the units and patients I see, building rapport, relaxation, and eventually trust. I do believe that sadly prejudice plays a part here. A prejudice openly admitted and not questioned.
"Prejudice is drawing (typically) negative assumptions about someone or something before having enough information to guarantee accuracy of those judgments. In respect to social identity, the integrated threat theory of prejudice states that four types of perceived threats felt from an out-group act as triggers for inter-group prejudice: realistic threats (those to body and possessions, for example), symbolic threats (those to ways of life), inter-group anxiety, and negative stereotypes. In studies of cultural prejudice, not all four types of threats need to be involved for prejudice to be observed. ...
Additionally, social identity influences the perception of a person being prejudiced. In-group members tend to give each other the benefit of the doubt in ambiguous situations, attributing events to external rather than internal causes. As such, research shows that people who share in-group status with the potential targets of potentially prejudicial behavior, as well as people who display moral credentials, are less likely to be judged as prejudiced by in-group members than by out-group members."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_identity_theory
I, in this case, am a member of the out-group, suffering from anxiety and stereotyping. Now I have a few choices: Blend into the beige and not feel like I am being authentic to myself. Or, keep doing what I'm doing and likely receive disciplinary action. Or, keep doing what I'm doing but eliminate the patterned tights. The last choice, seems to be the better choice.
Decision made, though the feeling of being prejudiced against won't go away. My patterned tights are just one thing to pick at, one thing to use as a visual stigma, for they are worn on a young woman, a thin young woman exhibiting confidence. A thin young woman who actually had a nurse I didn't know, had never met, actually put her hands on me, around my waist and say 'we need to feed you some ice cream'. I was offended at the lack of pause taken in touching me and commenting on my body size, and obviously on how skinny I am. She would never need to think twice about putting her hands on a stranger, someone 'overweight' and say 'you need to stop eating so much'. Out of absolute respect to anyone, to any woman, you never comment on someone's body. How is that not common sense?
Decision made, though the feeling of being prejudiced against won't go away. My patterned tights are just one thing to pick at, one thing to use as a visual stigma, for they are worn on a young woman, a thin young woman exhibiting confidence. A thin young woman who actually had a nurse I didn't know, had never met, actually put her hands on me, around my waist and say 'we need to feed you some ice cream'. I was offended at the lack of pause taken in touching me and commenting on my body size, and obviously on how skinny I am. She would never need to think twice about putting her hands on a stranger, someone 'overweight' and say 'you need to stop eating so much'. Out of absolute respect to anyone, to any woman, you never comment on someone's body. How is that not common sense?
Though she apparently meant well, and further stated it was a compliment and that she wishes she was that size again, this time I couldn't laugh it off. The look on my face said it all. I do not remember what I had said, but some education was done that day.
It is taken for granted that because I'm so small, I must love it, life must be so easy, and I must be so happy. Bull shit is what I say. It has been a major source of insecurity, low self esteem, a visual target throughout school, and to this day for people to remind me of my size, strangers openly discussing whether I am an anorexic or bulimic, and multiple people suggesting that eating more would apparently be the solution I never thought of. My friend's can attest to how much food I do eat and can eat and I can tell you my metabolism has repeatedly kicked my food intake's ass.
Weight stigma, also known as weightism, weight bias, and weight-based discrimination, is discrimination or stereotyping based on one's weight, especially very large or thin people. Weight stigma reflects internalized attitudes towards these people that affects how they—the targets of bias—are treated.
A person who is stigmatized possesses a weight that leads to a devalued social identity, and is often ascribed stereotypes or other labels denoting a perceived deviance which can lead to prejudice and discrimination. Common, “weight-based”, stereotypes are that overweight persons are lazy, lack self-discipline, and have poor willpower, but also possess defects of intelligence and character. Common weight-based stereotypes of underweight persons are that underweight persons are unattractive, anorexic, bulimic, unhealthy, diet and/or exercise excessively. There is no experimental or scientific evidence to indicate that these stereotypes are true, although pervasive social portrayals of weight create and reinforce biased attitudes.
Sadly, the link below is an example of the "us" and "them" related to weightism, an example of the bias that is prevalent:
My size and my age are two major reasons why I feel prejudiced against. I am 20 years younger than most of the people I work with, I am 30 but look 20, without makeup and in casual dress I could pass for a junior high student. I'm not on a poor-me rant at all, I understand I am lucky in those respects, but there is a real side to it that I have to deal with. Simply by looking young and working with the population I do, patients and children of patients are at an age where they could be my parents or grandparents, and why wouldn't they wonder if someone so young could be their Social Worker and do good by them. For my patients and families, they soon get over that initial fear when I do what I say and beyond.
But I feel because I am young and am some perceived 'lucky' girl with my genetics that what I wear is judged more harshly than a 40 year old counterpart. There are at least two women I know that wear the same funky, fashion forward things I do. Literally, the same items of clothing at times, similar fashion sense for sure, but they are higher on the totem pole, and are older woman, in their 40's to late 50's. They are seen as having funky taste, where I am seen as not garnering respect and somewhat scandalous.
The scandalous perception comes from the fact that it's not just my tights or my size that are talked about, but assumptions of my personal life being talked about. My personal life, no one's personal life, should ever be a topic of conversation at work, especially when addressing dress code. Pettiness, narrower views, resentment, jealously, or plain not even knowing where their judgements come from, sadly colour what I would consider to be absolutely innocuous.
The scandalous perception comes from the fact that it's not just my tights or my size that are talked about, but assumptions of my personal life being talked about. My personal life, no one's personal life, should ever be a topic of conversation at work, especially when addressing dress code. Pettiness, narrower views, resentment, jealously, or plain not even knowing where their judgements come from, sadly colour what I would consider to be absolutely innocuous.
Prejudice that I now sadly have experienced as Workplace Bullying, which has clearly exposed itself as based in my age and newness to the job, with my knowledge being discounted and specifically ignored, and my rapport built with staff twisted into something else.
According to the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute workplace bullying is "repeated, health-harming mistreatment, verbal abuse, or conduct which is threatening, humiliating, intimidating, or sabotage that interferes with work, or some combination of the three." Statistics show that bullying is 3 times as prevalent as illegal discrimination and at least 1,600 times as prevalent as workplace violence. Statistics also show that while only one employee in every 10,000 becomes a victim of workplace violence, one in six experiences bullying at work. Bullying is a little more common than sexual harassment but not verbal abuse which occurs more than bullying.
Unlike the more physical form of school bullying, workplace bullying often takes place within the established rules and policies of the organization and society. These subtle yet effective actions, such as administrative end-runs, orchestrated attempts at character assassination, or other equally forceful forms of coercion, are not necessarily illegal and may not even be against the firm's regulations; however, the damage to the targeted employee and to workplace morale is obvious.
Reverse Ageism, Adultcentrism, Adultism, or whatever you call it, it's real. Not just in theories made by sociologists but noticed by people like me and you:
It's not about the size, it's not about the age, it's not about the freakin' tights. It's about the judgements made about that person. It's about those judgements being construed into a 'trait', usually negative trait, of that person, without knowing them. It's about the blatant acceptance of being hurtful to someone else, because you don't believe they have the right to be hurt. It's about that lack of understanding of this being hurtful, and the guilt faced by those who feel hurt to express it, and the sarcastic response of "poor baby", "it must be so difficult". It's about the dismissiveness of a person's feelings and their rights to be who they are no matter their age, size, or personal style.
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